Dec 2008 |
VOL 4 ISSUE 5
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| HOME | Home For The Holidays Patrick Stack, D.Min., LMFT, LPC, NCC, CASAC Director of Counseling/Life Development This is the time of the year that reality has its way of jolting resident freshmen back to the real world. The real world is living with other members of the family and following family rules. Now take in consideration that your student has experienced almost four months of radical independence…..no one to tell them what time to get up in the morning, what foods to eat, with whom to associate, what clothes to wear, when to do homework, what time to go to bed, etc. So home for the holidays can be an adjustment for both you and your student. Here are some helpful tips. Be flexible! Openly acknowledge the student’s independent experiences. Attempt to be flexible about extending his/her experiences into the family structure. For example, talk about curfew. Ask your student what time does he or she think is reasonable to be home at night. If you think the suggested time is unreasonable, say so. Then suggest a time you think is reasonable. Ask your student if he/she wants you to get them up in the morning or does he/she want to handle getting up on their own? Make sure you clearly communicate your expectations. Engage your student in conversation about first semester experiences. Inform your student you are not prying, but just interested to learn more about their university life. If your student is a commuter, acknowledge the success that goes along with finishing the first semester of the freshmen year. Most students I speak with are amazed how quickly the semester went by. This fast semester experience has the potential of helping students to value time. Whether your student is a commuter or resident acknowledge that studying can be hard work. A friend of mine studied in Rome, Italy. His dormitory windows faced a magnificent vineyard. Frequently, he would observe farm hands working strenuously in the vineyard. The farm hands’ hard work inspired my friend to apply extra strength to his studies. Don’t be surprised if your student catches you off guard by wanting to incorporate a new family holiday tradition or reintroduce an old family tradition. His/her suggestion is emphasizing the importance of HOME. Happy Holidays! |
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