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Part Three: Initial Adjustment and Mental Isolation Phases
During the last few parents’ newsletter issues you have been introduced to the concept of the W-Curve. The W-Curve is a model that tracks students’ transition to college. We have seen the ups and downs of the honeymoon and culture shock phases. Now it’s time to learn about the next two phases: Initial Adjustment and Mental Isolation.

Initial Adjustment (Between Thanksgiving & Christmas Break)

Most of the time new students start to get into the swing of things, start to use their own personal values and opinions to make decisions, and begin to feel success in their decisions. They start to learn the routine and start to feel more adjusted and connected to the university community. Conflicts and challenges will still come and go (especially during high stress times) but the students begin to feel they have a better understanding of how to handle such issues.

How you can help them with this part of their transition:

1. GET EXCITED ABOUT THIS SECTION! Reinforce how proud of them you are, and share how much you’ve seen them grow in just the last few months.
2. Listen to their stories, let them share with you the decisions they have made and how they’ve processed them on their own. Ask good questions that can help them continue to make good solid decisions on their own.

Mental Isolation (Returning from Break, Mid-Second Semester, Before Spring Break)

Then the students go home for an extended break. They go home to a world that they knew for the majority of their lives, and try to bring with them their identity and experiences from their new life. Talk about being caught in between two worlds. The new college life is not as comfortable as home, but is becoming a more fully-shaped picture of who they want to be.

“The initial euphoria of the entrance into the university dissolves as the realities of campus life surface. Not all professors are friendly and helpful, not all living-group peers are potential friends, and everything is not as great as the brochures and admissions staff may have indicated. Questions of doubt regarding the decision to attend the institution may surface as the realities of first year grades and test scores take over.”

The home life begins to be unfamiliar; just as they have changed while they were at the university, things at home were changing as well. Sometimes students get quite a shock to find out that a decision was made without them that they would have been a part of if they were still active in their home life and its day-to-day-routine. They may begin to feel distant from back-home friends. They begin to feel homesick for something that doesn’t exist anymore.

How you can help them with this part of their transition:

1. Talk with them about their semester as a whole, what went well, what didn’t go well, and where they see themselves as the spring semester begins. Remind them that it is a big step going to college and that with every big step come challenges, but also major rewards.
2. Remind them that change can be a hard thing, but also a good thing. Show them that you are there for them as their worlds are changing. Have them help you with some day-to-day task while they are at home. They need to know that they are still important in that world.
3. For parents with students who live on-campus … When I was a freshman in college this was the first break when I called school “home” in front of my mom. I thought she was going to burst into tears … know that your student will now and forever have two homes -- the one they were raised in, and the one they are making for themselves. Just know that you can be a part of both of them!

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