Helicopter Parents

Ted Hoef, Associate Vice President and Dean of Students

By now you have probably seen something in the media about “helicopter parents.” At Webster, we have seen our own share of this phenomenon.

We encourage parents to show interest in the lives of their students. Parents can often be good partners with the University faculty and staff by encouraging students to engage in good learning practices and to take advantage of opportunities that will help them make the most of their college experience. The good news is that the majority of Webster parents seem to understand this.

However, in some cases a parent can get overly involved and do more harm than good. We have seen some parents who want to solve problems for their student – with no involvement from their student. Often, the result is that the student will end up lacking the necessary skills, or interest, in solving their own problems. This is what we call “learned helplessness.”

We have attempted to address this issue at Webster by encouraging students to work to solve their own problems. If a parent calls one of our offices, we will ask if the student has contacted anyone on campus about their particular problem. If they have not, we will urge the parent to have the student contact the appropriate person. We will not work with the parent directly prior to the student becoming actively engaged in solving the problem. So, whenever your son or daughter tells you about a problem they are facing, we hope you encourage them to contact an appropriate member of our staff on their own. Or, if they are having difficulty with another student, encourage them to talk with that person directly. Your first step should not be to pick up the phone and call someone at the University to solve this problem for your student.

A recent study by a team of researchers led by Dr. Patricia Somers, an associate professor at the University of Texas-Austin has found that 40-60% of college parents qualify as helicopter parents. I encourage you to read a good article about her study at:
http://www.utexas.edu/features/2007/helicopter/index.html

The growth in parental involvement in the lives of college students seems to be due to several cultural shifts:

Dr. Somers has found that many parents don’t want their child dealing with any adversity or minor failure, on his or her own. So, they step in to handle things for their son or daughter. This is where some parents can get in the way of student learning. From the leading researchers on student development, we know that developing self-authorship is a key to successful functioning in adult life. Plus, we know that self-authorship is the foundation for achieving many college learning outcomes. Experience and research has shown that some amount of adversity, if accompanied by appropriate levels of support, promotes the development of self-authorship in our students.

In closing, I encourage parents to reflect on the level of involvement in their student’s life and evaluate whether their current level of involvement is truly supportive of student learning and development. Some forms of “helping” may not be in your student’s best interests in the long run. To the majority of parents who have resisted getting too involved in the college life of your student, I applaud your efforts. I’m sure this is not easy to do, as you adjust to your student’s transition from high school to college.