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DATE: Thursday, 09 December 1999 SUBJECT: Visit by General CLAUS, Commander, Joint Arctic Operations Detachment (JAOD)
1. An official visit by GEN Santa (NMI) CLAUS is expected at your facilities on 25 December 1999. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit: a. All time references are local (Eastern Standard) time. b. Not a creature will stir without official approvals and direction. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Stirring permits, mouse, may be obtained through the Surgeon General's office (Veterinary Services, Vector Control) and will be supervised by the Rodent Supervision Officer (RSO). c. All personnel who have been issued brains will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 1999. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, Cotton, Light, Drowsing; with Kerchief, General Purpose, Camouflage; and Cap, Camouflage with Ear Flaps. Personnel not currently in possession of required uniform items may draw those articles from the logistics office prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 1999. d. Personnel will employ standard ration sugar plums in the exercise of visions to dance through their heads. These items will be drawn from the servicing dining facility. e. Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, Red may be substituted for OD Green for this occasion and will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions must be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Division Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to DHM for approval prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 1999. f. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all assigned personnel will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and identify cause. Designated personnel will take immediate action to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference SO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, dated 2 February 1999, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Branch Chiefs and NCOICs will familiarize personnel with appropriate procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to initiation of official clatter. g. Prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 1999, all personnel will be assigned "Wondering Eye" stations, which are to be manned immediately after shutters are torn and sashes are thrown. h. The Transportation Officer will assign one each Sleigh, Miniature, M66, and eight (8) Deer, Rein, Tiny, for use of GEN CLAUS' driver who, in accordance with current directives and applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 46 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking; and be prepared to shout "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen", on command. 2. GEN CLAUS will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All housing units not possessing standard chimneys will draw Simulator, Chimney, M6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulators will be requested on a DEH Job Order Request, submitted through the logistics office, NLT 19 December 1999, and issued on temporary HR 3161, Request for Issue and Turn-In. 3. Protocol Officer and Logistics Officer will ensure that appropriate comestibles (milk and cookies) are available for GEN CLAUS' consumption during his visit. 4. Personnel will be thoroughly rehearsed in shouting "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night" and that shout will be given at the termination of GEN CLAUS' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of the Senior Enlisted Advisor and Division/Branch NCOICs.
/S/ CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE
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